Just Say No.
Saturday afternoon, we were at Diane's birthday party (Happy Birthday, Chris's mom!), and there was a decadent chocolate cake to celebrate. Sunday played host to my friend Kate's wedding shower, where there was an open bar, cookies, and a delicious butter cream cake. Yet I didn't taste any of these items.
And I have no clue where this willpower came from.
After a startlingly high A1c result last month and a string of elevated blood sugars, I feel like I'm starting to get things back under control these days. I'm giving my thighs a rest and trying out new infusion set sites, and the absorption has undoubtedly improved. I'm also doing my best to keep a closer eye on numbers and be a bit more proactive instead of reactive with corrections (i.e. counting carbs more precisely and giving my insulin time to get in before eating in efforts to avoid a spike), which seems to be working. My meter average has gone from 160 mg/dl two weeks ago to 143 mg/dl - and I'll take it.
Granted, I'm not all good behavior. I had an awesome peach martini on Saturday night with my husband. And I have been indulging in too much tasty iced coffee on those long drives home to Rhode Island. Some stuff is bolus-worthy! But with such a focus on diabetes management, I'm becoming stingier with indulgences. I wanted to taste that chocolate cake, but the fabulous smell of chocolate was wiped out by the thought of a big bolus, the potential for a post-prandial spike, and then the low that may result from the correction. My blood sugar at the time was 89 mg/dl, and I wanted to keep the steady number more than the cake. Same for the wedding shower treats - it was easier to say no than to handle the potential highs and lows. (Even though the cookies at the shower looked so exquisite I almost buckled.) But I keep thinking about a baby someday. And a lower A1c. And feeling better. It made it easier to just say no.
While I was at the shower, my friend's mother (a type 2) remarked while the cookies were being passed around, "You have such great willpower!"
I laughed. "Today. Who knows what tomorrow will bring!"
Diabetes has become like chess - I'm looking a few moves ahead and basing my decisions on the future rather than the present. I don't plan on letting diabetes checkmate me ... instead, I'll steal its horse and run off. For now, I hope I can make the willpower last!