Surprising Gym Results.
I like my gym. It is small, tidy, and there's never a wait for the machines. Chris and I go there every weeknight for about an hour. My workout varies from resistance training, circuits, and sometimes just some plain old cardio.
Last night, I did a cardio circuit that involved 10 minutes on the elliptical machine, 10 minutes on the treadmill, 3 minutes jumping rope, and then another 10 on the stationary bike. (Thirty-three minutes. Larry Bird, baby.) After I was done on the bike, the machine beeeeped! and flashed a message of completion which took me by such surprise that I yelped.
Excuse me?
Apparently the machine was programmed in the wrong language, because as it cycled through the results, it offered me my snitt fart count, as well.
I do not know what language this is. All I know is that it surprised the hell out me. And I ended up with an impromptu ab workout due to uncontrollable laughter.
Comments
Excellent work, I think if you do at least 50 snitt farts on an incline, it bumps you up to Whore.
Posted by: Darrell | June 26, 2008 08:59 AM
If you figure out what language that is, I'm moving to that country.
Posted by: Colleen | June 26, 2008 09:09 AM
Good work on achieving slut status!!
Your snitt fart looks great. Keep up the good work!
You'll be buff in no time.
Posted by: Shannon | June 26, 2008 09:30 AM
well it makes sense in swedish. slut: end/finished
fart: part of journey
Posted by: burcu | June 26, 2008 10:16 AM
It feels wrong to be sitting here nibbling chocolate while reading about your gym visit lol... but at least I got some exercise having a good giggle at your pics!
Hilarious!
Posted by: M | June 26, 2008 10:18 AM
GTFO...I just read Burcu's comment. Whattaya know.
Posted by: Shannon | June 26, 2008 11:28 AM
My workouts only get me to "sleezy and bloated."
You rock! :)
Posted by: George | June 26, 2008 11:30 AM
This was hilarious! As were all the comments people posted. Loved it, and thanks for sharing, Kerri!
Posted by: Michelle Doerr | June 26, 2008 11:43 AM
i DO NOT want to EVEN KNOW my snitt fart count!
Posted by: Landileigh | June 26, 2008 12:24 PM
OMG! You need to warn a girl who might be reading this at work. Because if she starts laughing so hard that her coworkers get worried, she will have to explain what she is lauging at!!! I'm just saying!
Posted by: Sara | June 26, 2008 12:37 PM
It's Danish. "Slut" = "finished".
Posted by: Erin | June 26, 2008 12:45 PM
Ok, that is hysterical. i'd love to see how high i can get my snitt fart.
Posted by: Caroline | June 26, 2008 02:01 PM
That is too funny. I would probably go to the gym more if there were more machines like that.
Posted by: Beth | June 26, 2008 02:40 PM
ROFL...My friend subscribes to this blog and shares your stories. We are both at work (she in AZ and I in CO) and we're crying and laughing so hard our co-workers think we're nuts. Great stuff!!!!
Posted by: Karen | June 26, 2008 02:43 PM
Hysterical.
Posted by: Major Bedhead | June 26, 2008 02:50 PM
LOL! And ROFL @ G-Money!
Posted by: Scott K. Johnson | June 26, 2008 04:32 PM
That has to be the funniest thing I've seen in weeks! I wonder what qualifies a fart as a "snitt fart"?
Now I gotta figure out how to alter the language on my machines @ work for when I get mad at my boss.
Posted by: Michael | June 26, 2008 04:45 PM
I'd be a little worried if I were you. A snitt fart rating of 22.8 is kind of high. I wouldn't try to hold back a sneeze or anything because that could be quite embarrassing.
Posted by: Paul | June 26, 2008 07:46 PM
I think I just peed my pants!!!
Posted by: Jessica | June 26, 2008 10:05 PM
I just spit all over my computer screen!!
Posted by: Windy | June 26, 2008 10:17 PM
Funny how some words exist in several different languages, but with very different meanings :-)
I'm a native Dane, and I while it is absolutely true that SLUT means "finished", "end", or "done" in Danish, I am not sure that the language of your machine was indeed Danish. I'll put my bet on Swedish. Even though all the Nordic languages (Danish, Swedish and Norwegian) are very much alike, they do also have some significant differences.
My interpretation of SNITT FART is that it is your average speed or velocity. In true Danish that would be "gennemsnitsfart", where "gennemsnit" is the average and "fart" is the speed or velocity. The "s" in between the words is just a linking letter, since we have tendency of compound words in Danish. To my knowledge the Swedes use SNITT for "gennemsnit" or average as you would say, but FART is still speed or velocity as in Danish :-)
So in Swedish, you would end your work out with SLUT, having ridden the stationary bike at an average speed (SNITT FART) of 22.8 kilometres/hour, which corresponds to something like 14 miles/hour.
Not bad at all :-D
Posted by: Heidi | June 27, 2008 02:57 AM
This was funny enough. Then I read Paul's comment. ROFL. I nearly snorted something out of my nose.
You're a bad lot...thanks.
Posted by: Bernard Farrell | June 27, 2008 09:58 AM
I'm not sure (thanks Heidi) that we need to know the velocity of Kerri's farts.
Posted by: Michelle | June 27, 2008 02:49 PM
Congratulations Kerri.
This blog posted is the number 1 Google result for "snitt farts".
Good job! Have a great weekend.
Posted by: Bernard Farrell | June 27, 2008 03:44 PM
Average speed = Snitt fart (Swedish) = Gjennomsnittsfart (Norwegian) = Gennemsnitsfart (Danish)
End (finished) = Slut (Swedish and Danish) = Slutt (Norwegian)
regards a Norwegian
Posted by: Oystein | June 27, 2008 04:09 PM
Thats so freaking funny!
Posted by: Lauren Brandt | July 4, 2008 10:05 PM
I think someone sneaky at your gym left the language setting on Swedish on purpose, just to watch the reactions! Hell, I would.
Posted by: B | July 17, 2008 11:47 AM