Good n' Fruity.
When I left work last night, I was en route to running a number of wedding errands. First stop was Bed, Bath, and BEYOND (what is the "beyond" part anyway) to pick up a few things for our trip. Felt fine walking around the store, but as I was waiting in line to check out, I was immediately hit by a weird headache, dizziness, and started to feel sweaty.
Quick meter consultation: 91 mg/dl.
"No way. No way am I ninety-one. I must be dropping like a rock." (People have most likely realized I'm crazy, since I'm constantly muttering to myself.) Scanning the checkout line, I don't see much in the way of food. Shouldn't that be part of the "beyond"? Teeny cheese grater, wine cork with a plastic man on top, a bag to wash unmentionables in so that the dryer doesn't eat them ... where are the snacky bits in this blasted establishment?
I grab the closest food-like item I can spy: a box of Good n' Fruity candies that look as though they were shipped to this particular B,B & B in 1987. Cracking it open, I chomped on a few while the cashier rang out my purchases. I wasn't going to ignore the classic "low blood sugar" symptoms, even if my meter said I was fine.
Out in the car, I was less fine. Still shaky, still dizzy, now 58 mg/dl. Have a few more of those moldly old Good n' Fruities. Fifteen minutes passes and I lance my finger again - 54 mg/dl. Oh for crying out loud. I check the glove compartment for my glucose tabs - nothing. I forgot that I moved them to my gym bag for my workout the night prior. It's just me and these fruity good things.
Another handful. Two more handfuls, just for good measure. It's now been 40 minutes since I rang in at 91 mg/dl. Isn't this straight sugar? I test again - 68 mg/dl.
"Are you serious? Be less good and fruity and be more glucosey and sugar-crammed!" I gobble down two more handfuls. More than 2/3 of the box is gone at this point. I wait (not) patiently, making phone calls to my friends while my blood sugar plods back into range.
Finally - 76 mg/dl. I'm comfortable driving with that number.
Two hours later, 84 mg/dl.
Three hours later, 93 mg/dl.
I'm convinced those Good & Fruity candies were nothing but capsules of insulin with a sugar coating. There is NO WAY I should have been anywhere even close to "in range" after consuming a massive box of them. I can't figure out what was keeping me running so low for such a long period of time. Persistent little sucker.
So note to readers - if you're ever stuck with only these G&F's as your low blood sugar treatment option, beware. They apparently have a cure tucked in that box somewhere. ;)
(Oh Google, go ahead and have your way with that phrase. No, Good & Fruities don't cure diabetes. They don't even taste good. Give me Twizzlers any day.)