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Licensed to Wed.

License to wed ... Yesterday we went home for my final dress fitting (and choose a veil as well.  I absolutely love the veil and plan on wearing it to work for weeks after my wedding), to get our marriage license, to confirm arrangements with our florist, and to attend our marriage classes.

The fitting was perfect, the license was quick and easy, and the florist was efficient.  But what surprised me most was our meeting with the priest.  I don't often discuss religion here on my blog because, to be honest, I am not a very religious person.  I have my beliefs but I do not have a specific church that I follow.  I've seen religion come between couples, refuse to recognize certain relationships, and alienate people who need support the most.  Needless to say, my view of organized religion is one that is respectful, yet highly skeptical.

However.

Last night we met with the priest who will marry us nineteen days from today.  He was warm and approachable, making me feel welcome in his Catholic church instead of feeling ostracized for being the only non-Catholic in the room.  (He was also a big Red Sox fan, so I liked him instantly.)  He talked to the group of engaged couples about the importance of communication and respect in a relationship.  "Talk to each other.  Be honest with one another.  There is nothing more important than the strength of your relationship.  Be lovers.  But also be friends.  There are so many different religions, but we're all on the same road."

I've never been married before, and most of my friends are unmarried, but I know that relationships are different now than they were in the past.  People spend more time working than they do having fun with one another.  There are more infidelities, or more time spent talking to strangers on the internet than people in their real lives, more time focused on things that, in the long run, don't matter nearly as much as love.  Relationships today seem far more selfish than those of the past, with couples more focused on "me" than "we." 

It made me think a lot about my own relationship.  I am thankful that my fiance and I have a healthy romantic relationship, but he is also my best friend and the person I trust most.  We share trials and triumphs alike, and he has made caring for my disease a seamless part of "what we just do."  The priest talked about communication as the cornerstone of a strong relationship, and I am thankful that I am able to talk freely to my future husband.

"The world is burning out there.  You need to hold one another close."

I am looking towards marriage with joy and excitement.  I am thankful for the opportunity to feel such hope. 

Comments

I'm far removed from religion because I wasn't raised with it in my life, but the principles the priest talked about are good ones to follow.

"The 5 Languages of Love" is a great book to read as a reminder of how love evolves and the reality of what love should be especially as the years go on. It's a good book to use as a maintenance tool for your relationship...like an oil change.

Jeff and I will be together for 17 years in June and the book really helped us to adjust our points of view to allow us to sustain our relationship.

Sometimes couples need an attitude adjustment, so to speak.

You guys are one heck of a team! My mom always says, marriage is not 50/50 but both of you putting 100% all the time. so true.

And Shannon is right, that book is awesome.

I am so happy for the both of you. I can't believe things are so close now (I bet you can't either). Thanks so much for sharing this experience with all of us. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside :)

SuperG, I have always said a good relationship is 100/100.

Now to find the guy....hmmmm. ;-)

My best to you Kerri! Thanks for the comment! I am SO excited!!!!!

I am So happy for you, that you found the one, that things went well (you SO deserved that) and I wish you the best and easiest path leading up to your wedding day. (stress be damned!)

Happy thoughts all around.

Congrats on your upcoming wedding! I hope the two of you will be very, very happy together.

19 days! that made my heart flutter for you :)

Your priest gave great guidance, but it sounds like you guys have the most important groundwork already laid down. Love, trust and true friendship- that all comes easy- it's deciding to show each other all those things every day that makes marriage joyful and exciting.

19 days. Wow!! I know that while it's exciting for us out here in the blogsphere, it must be almost heart stopping for you.

Enjoy and remember the feelings from these last weeks and someday 20 years from now when you've just had a major fight over your teenagers, you can look back and remember exactly how excited you were and how in love you were - and it will get you through. :)

Judy and I have been married 42 years. She is my best friend and she has had to suffer thru some very bad times. My medical problems more recently. A good marriage requires a lot of hard work. Today it seems to be easier to quit rather than work thru the problems.
GOOD LUCK

Very good advice from the priest!!!

Can't believe you will be married in 19 days. Seems like you two just got engaged.

PLEASE post pictures of the big day!!!
Are you guys going on a honeymoon?? You probably already said but I am having complete brain overload right now.

All the best!

Congratulations!! My husband and I have been married for 7 very short months (yesterday)! It is such a fun time in our lives and we cherish every moment.

We very much enjoyed meeting with our priest, as well. It was just an opportunity to remember all of the wonderful things that we love about each other and think about how fantastic our futures will be!

I must echo Shannon's thoughts on using the book. It will really help to see the best way(s) for you to show love to each other. It helped me and my husband to understand each other better!

How touching. It's so important to plan a marriage, not just a wedding. But then I think you and Chris are doing just fine there :) Thanks for sharing!

Wow! 19 days! I just got goosebumps for you :) Very exciting.

I remember meeting with our minister too - that guy had a lot of good advice for us - practical advice, which has come in handy from time to time.

Like so many have mentioned, you two have already set the groundwork in place for a good, strong marriage. There will be bumps in the road - there always are - but as long as you keep those lines of communication open and stay the best of friends, you will be happy for the rest of your lives.

Remember these coming days and embrace them - you will look back on them fondly in the years to come, especially when you have children of your own who ask you all about your wedding day :) My girls now ask me about ours.

Lots of advice from us old married couples huh? (oh yeah, 10 years for us this summer LOL - does that qualify as an old married couple?? LOL).

Congratulations once again and most of all, enjoy your wedding - it's one of the most special and beautiful days of your life! :)

Aw! I want to get married again. Same guy, just again. I loved my dress, I loved my veil, but I loved our ceremony. It was scary and exciting and I really felt different right after.

My husband is my best friend. He is the only guy who has never batted an eye at all of the drama that comes along with having autoimmune diseases. He was meant to be in my life. I know you feel the same way.

Off to try on my dress!!

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