dTOEs: Second Edition
Diabetes comes with its own set of jargon, that's for sure. From "carbage" to "zombied," we've got the latest diabetes sniglets here on Six Until Me. Submitted by readers who are living with diabetes (and some from me), these entries made me laugh out loud! I present, for your reading and laughing pleasure, Diabetes Terms of Endearment: Second Edition!
3 am Break
For couples where one partner has diabetes, this refers to 3 am low blood sugars, wherein one person drinks juice and the other goes to pee.
Beedies (see also "Diabetus")
Expression used to refer to diabetes, usually spoken in the voice of an old man. ex. "I gots the BEEDIES!"
Not using perfectly good blood from a cut from a knife or other household item for a glucose test because you recently tested.
Collective term for test strips, blood drawing devices, and vampire cannulas.
Term indicative of the collective carbohydrate content in an item, rhymes with "garbage." ex. "What's the carbage on that bagel?"
Also known as "diabetics," as we don't normally order dessert on dates.
The act of over-eating to treat those pesky midnight low blood sugars. See also "Sleep-Eating" or "Panic Eating"
A term Jillian's sister uses for what over pricked fingers look like after a long swim in the summer, all pruney and holey and mangled.
The blood stains on sheets and clothing from glucose tests.
Word often muttered under your breath when you end up low after precision-bolusing for a meal, as though your body didn't need the insulin. ex. "I have no idea how I ended up low. I must be cured."
What Shannon calls juice boxes so that her other kids don't clamor for one while she's treating her son's low blood sugar. See also "It's Her Medicine."
Any non-diabetic who feels it is their job to give their opinion on what we should eat. Classic ex. "You can't eat this - you have diabetes." Note that it's never a question - always an imperative statement.
Wilford Brimley's preferred pronunciation of the word "diabetes." Usually followed by laughter and the viewing of YouTube clips. ex. "Hi. Are you using Liberty Medical to get your diabetus medications?"
Sugar-free or diabetes marketed food that tastes horribly bland (ex: - Girl Scout Sugar-Free Brownies)
The act of taking a bolus with an insulin pump. ex. "Dial in for that panini." Note: this expression does not make sense, as there is no dial on an insulin pump, but that reasoning makes me like it even more.
Term given to diabetes by the classmate of a small child. ex. "He needs juice because he has dead bees."
Terri-Lynn's son's term for feeling low. Also known as jiggly, fuzzy, d-fogged, and lost.
"Get The Machine!"
Can be said to anyone who is already familiar with your diabetes and has done something to make their finger bleed out a drop, i.e. a papercut, sewing needle prick, small scale kitchen knife or razor incident, etc.
The fiendish critters that make our blood sugars high after an insulin set change. ex. "I changed my site, didn't eat anything, and still ended up at 250 mg/dl. Damn glucose goblins."
After pulling out a needle or infusion set, blood spurts out all over the dang place.
"Give Mommy the Finger."
A phrase often used by parents of children with diabetes, referring to a parent's request to test their child's blood sugar. Often met by amused stares from strangers.
A welcome sight for people using CGMs. Refers to rock stable, flat, normal, wonderful blood sugars over a prolonged period (3 or 9 hr screens on the D7). Especially gratifying after pizza, chinese or bagels.
Or "to flick" - When an infusion set is nudged or grazed by a doorknob, child's foot, random cat paw, etc.
The resulting headache after recovering from a low or high blood sugar
Hans n' Franz
To change one's infusion set, to get "pumped up."
"Have You Checked Your Checkins?"
Phrase used by Seonaid's father, which means "Have you checked your sugar?" Editor's Note: It made me laugh out loud, so I wanted to make sure it made it to the list. ;)
The act of taking insulin. ex. "Have you insulated yet - it's almost dinner time."
The act of exhibiting a bad attitude, while also being diabetic.
"It's Her Medicine."
A phrase used by a friend once, when her date wanted to eat the emergency crackers I had in my purse. "Can I have a cracker, Kerri?" Before I could answer, friend leaned in with a knowing look and said, "No, it's not a cracker. It's her medicine."
Pump tubing. ex. "I walked by the doorknob and it grabbed me by the leash."
When you don't even need to use a lancet to test because you can simply squeeze your fingertip and have blood come out of several previous lancings.
Foods that do not have any carbohydrates. Also known as "free foods." ex. Jell-O, pickles, air.
"Not A Toy"
Phrase used to explain to a young child why they can't grab your insulin pump or testing meter and run off with it. ex. "No, Abby, that's not a toy."
Old School Shot
Reverting back to injecting insulin via syringe after becoming used to bolusing with an insulin pump. May also be known as "rockin' it old school" or "shootin' old school."
Phrase used by Michelle and her son as the preferred curse word to utter after seeing a high blood sugar reading. Origin: Started after they consumed donuts and her son said "oh donuts mumma." She responded "Exactly."
From the jump rope rhyme "HiLo PepperJolly." In diabetes terms, "pepperjolly" refers to being in your glucose target range. Note: Origin credited to Fairlight.
After pricking your finger, blood comes out in geyser-like spurts instead of forming a droplet.
The act of taking an insulin injection. This expression is most often noticed in public by uneducated bystanders who look over and raise an eyebrow. (see also "I'm high.")
The ability to consume juice while still actually asleep.
Little gummy candies that Lea's son Noah eats when low
Not telling anyone that you're diabetic
The furry, sticky feeling your teeth may get when your blood sugar is high. ex. "I was almost 400 mg/dl, and I definitely had sweaters on my teeth."
An insulin pump plastic cannula that has sucked up blood and refuses to push out the appropriate insulin dose.
"Your diabetes may vary." Phrase used as a caveat after explaining how something affects your diabetes. ex. "Pizza makes my blood sugar spike, but ydmv."
Fingers that are too cold to get any blood out of them. Most easily remedied by sucking on them or rubbing them against your clothes to get the blood flowing.