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Beeeeeeeeep!

Image credit to Maplenet.netWell hello - I'm rather grumpy today.

I had a moment of cyborgy-ness yesterday, when I was dressed for bed at the end of the evening, yoga pants and a sports bra, and I realized that my pants were sort of falling down, thanks to all of the gadgets hooked to my waistband.  The pump and the Dexcom, separately, are not heavy items, but together they are a bit weighty.  Even though I welcome the protection from lows and highs that Dex is offering, I felt a bit unattractive and robotic.  And my blood sugars have been troubling for the past few days, causing the Dex to sing at me with that loud, loud, loud BEEEEEEEEP!

(Note to readers:  If this post is making you feel like you want to chime in about how being sexy/attractive is far less important than good diabetes control, now is not the time.  I understand how important diabetes control is, and I work hard to achieve a relatively respectable rein on things.  But for that moment last night, I wanted to feel like a girl, not a robot.  I am entitled to these desires.  I am a real human being, not a spokesperson of any kind.  :: steps off soapbox, though laughing at the literal illustration of the bar of soap on the box over there on the right.  Hee hee. ::)

Dex and I are linked back up again this week, only this time the sensor is on my right thigh.  (My pump infusion set is on my left.  I'm sporting diabetes saddlebags this week.)  I'm hoping that having the sensor in a place that doesn't bend, flex, and deal with waistbands will help keep in place more than four days.  The numbers have been pretty precise all day long, except I've seen my first "???" indicators popping up.  According to the user manual, this means that the sensor may be disrupted by my clothes rubbing against the sensor face.  With the site on my thigh and sporting jeans today, that may be the case.  It seems to help if I keep the Dexcom clipped to my pocket, closer to the sensor itself.  However, numbers are still relatively accurate.  My faith is still strong in this product.

But the annoying bit I'm noticing the most, and which is sending me into a bit of grumpiness, is the beeeeeeping.  The "Above 180 mg/dl BEEEEEEEEP" that permeates my office.  It's not the fault of the product but more of an alarm that announces my body's failures.  It bounces off the wall, ricochets into my ears, and shaves off a bit of my ego.   "BEEEEEEP - Kerri, you're high.  Your diabetes is uncontrolled at the moment - HEY EVERYBODY!  She's high!"

Over the past two weeks, stress levels have once again crept up, and I'm finding myself a bit looped out at times.  The wedding is closer, finances are spoken for before they arrive, work is extremely busy, and personal projects are ramping up, thus grabbing and needing more of my attention. 

Most often, I'm very upbeat, quick-witted, and pretty damn smiley.  But today - meh.  I'm grumpy and frustrated with stress, the snowglobe of ideas in my mind, and that damn BEEEEEEEEEP.  I become disheartened when my efforts at good diabetes control - hell, good LIFE control - are thwarted by these unseen little factors, like stress, or maybe weak insulin, or the pile of wedding things that still need to be wrangled ... it's a bit much today. 

I would love a personal assistant.  Or, better still, a vacation.  Instead, I have a headache.  And BEEEEEEEEEP

Comments

Oh Kerri,

I have to say first, I was laughing. Only because of your writing skills. You create these illustrations.... and somehow I can just "see" you make faces and letting out a "hmph" or pulling your hair....

And darlin' Stay On That Soap Box!! You are entitled! No one is perfect!

You are doing everything you can at such a high stress time in your life!

Hang in there and my suggestion for being girlie....timing. I only change my site after a shower. I LOVE THOSE DAYS!
Nothing, I mean NOTHING is attached to me, I feel free, I feel like me, I feel like a woman....I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar!

I can only last 45 minutes off the pump if my level is stable. I relish in those times, I run around FREE of it all! I know I still have this darn disease but for 45 minutes, I don't Feel a thing....

Best to you and if you need to vent, contact me, I will listen!!!!

I just wanted to pipe in and say hi. I've been lurking for about a week or so. My family history finally caught up with me and I got definite diabetes diagnosis today. Meh. So just waving and introducing myself. :)

Kerri, I'm sorry you're going through this. I can't say that I've been there, but I do hope that it all passes. You have so much to look forward to in the next few weeks, and I hope that you can really enjoy that instead of dwelling on all the crap diabetes has to dish out. eHugs!

I echo the oh so annoying BEEEEP. The thing scares me so bad, I jump everytime it goes off!

While I don't have the CGM, I can imagine how irritating the beeps are ... who needs another (loud) reminder that you're diabetic and high or low? I get that you appreciate the technology (as I do) but it sure is frustrating at times as well. Hope tomorrow is a quieter day for you!!

Oy, sorry to hear about your stress. Although I had fun imagining you as the Lone Ranger-ette, with your loaded pistols (er, diabetes supplies) twirling in your hands :)

Seriously, there are days even without a CGM when I hate the constant reminder of being 'on task'. I hope tomorrow brings you less to deal with...at the very least, it brings you one day closer to being Mrs. Chris, right? :-)

Hang in there!

This post is the reason I don't want a DexCom or any CGMS.

I am neurotic enough as is. This beeping and constant attention to the Dex would drain me of energy I'd rather put elsewhere.

I'm proud of you for stickin' in there. It sure ain't for me right now. I may come around someday when insurance picks it up and the technology gets better.

Oh, the horrendous beeeeeeps. And the unusually loud BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ that precedes most of them. The BEEEEEEEPing was usually enough to wake up my husband at night when I was using the Dex for 2 weeks, and the only thing that usually wakes him up is his cell phone alarm!

Kerri, you crack me up! I can completely relate, as I wear a pump and a Dex too. My husband is soooo patient at night cause sometimes between our two little kids and the third child "BEEEEEEEEP"... neither of us get any sleep. And I sooo get the feminine thing too.... I have the robot gear PLUS a c section scar.... see what you have to look forward to?? lol. I better go now... i might be making things worse. ;-) Hope you have a great day.

"thigh"
"bra"
"gadgets"
"pants falling down"
"sexy"

I can only imagine the Google traffic from this one. :)

M

Oh sweetie. :( Some days it's just rotten, huh? You would give anything to feel like a "normal" girl. I think we've all been there too, and it stinks.

I know time (and $) is tight these days, but can you spare a little of each to treat yourself to something girlie that will make you feel as beautiful as you are? Maybe a manicure or a pedicure. Or a bit of retail therapy with a pretty spring dress or some flirty new shoes?

Stress? What the heck. The wedding is what, actual WEEKS away right? You act like it could be counted in DAYS.

What are you stressing about? LOL

LY/MI

My numbers crept higher and higher the closer I got to my wedding. I felt like I was constantly tweaking my basal rates... Just hang in there until the honeymoon... I have never had better numbers that that first week honeymooning with my new husband!

Why doesn't the damn thing have a vibration mode setting?(rhetorical question)
That beeping would drive me crazy too.
Mark

I remember you posting a photo of a set (or a sensor?) inserted on your abdomen once, and thinking that Chris was a very fortunate man.

Please keep the CGMS going; Chris is doubly fortunate if it causes your pants to fall down .... :-)

Cheers,
Felix.

Welcome to the DBorg Collective.

I have both the dex and omnipod. Which is pretty cool, since the omnipod completely sticks where i put it, including the back of my arm. But i feel very borg. Just be glad that in the last year the CGMS has come a long way. I had the first minimed CGMS with the huge lollipop transmitter. That thing would leave a ring where it was and very little skin.

But i really like my dex and my omnipod. Anything without wires is good for me. Also the fact that i got away from the minimed inserters was a big plus. click....thwack was always a great way to start anything.

When i was on the minimed pump, i would sometimes go off of it a week at a time. It was nice to be free, although it was tough not having the controls to give me more insulin, without pullng out the needles, the alcohol swabs and the insulin bottle.


Kerri,

I soooo understand, especially when it beeps highs for a long time and you see those highs for hours on end. On the minimed you can turn the alarms off and just use the visual reading, I have a pumper friend that does that. Sometimes when I have fixed a low reading on the sensor, I will raise my low thresold setting on the sensor so it stops beeping. Many times when I am getting the high siren I start talking to the dang thing, in front of my coworkers and start shaking my head at it. I do like the fact that I just have one thing (pump) harnessed to me, but I know you were not a fan of medtronics. I think we will both determine at our next A1C result whether it is all worth it.

You can turn the alarms off, or change at what number they will alarm and just use the visual display if you want, with the Dexcom. Although the lowest low is preset, I think, at 55, and you can't change that one at all.

I think pumps are sexy.

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