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I Don't Want To Talk About It.

For the past three days, I have had a flickery little floater spot in my right eye.  It dances out of the way when I try to focus on it directly, but I know it's there.

Yesterday, as I was walking into the gym, I saw these beautiful and terrifying explosions in my left eye, bursting just out of my line of focus and causing my heart to sink into my stomach.  They passed after a few seconds, but I thought about them before I went to bed last night, and remembered them against first thing this morning.

This morning, when I called my retiniologist and described my symptoms and my voice broke just a small bit, they cleared an appointment for me today at three-thirty. 

It could be nothing.  I could be over-reacting.  It could just be eye strain or exhaustion or any number of stressors. It could be one of those things that causes people without diabetes to rub their eyes, shake their head, and think, "Wow, that was weird."

But I know there's already something that's been noticed.  And for me, with more than twenty years of type 1 in my past, it's something I can't ignore. 

I don't want to talk about it.


It is so easy to ignore a potential symptom and just hope it was nothing. You are so strong and you did the right thing by calling your retinologist. I am thinking of you and praying it is absolutely nothing. Keep us posted.

Hi Kerri,

Sending you good thoughts and hoping that the appointment goes well and there's nothing to worry about.

:o) Allison

*big hug* I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Oh, Kerri. I hope this is nothing more than eye strain. I'll be sending you lots of good wishes until you know for sure!

Take care.

I'm not Diabetic, but perhaps you can take comfort in the fact that I often experience the same symptoms that you've mentioned... Comforting, that is, because it's not necessarily anything related to Type 1, etc. I tend to ignore the floater, and watch the dancing white sparks in awe until they disappear seconds later (assuming this is the same that you experienced).

Of course, being diabetic, you are doing the right thing by seeing a specialist as soon as possible. Best of luck!

Good luck, Kerri.


I'm with everyone else here sending you strength and good energy today.

If it helps, I've had similar "explosions" too, and they had nothing to do with the D.-- I blogged about it here (http://trying2behuman.blogspot.com/2008/01/electrical-storm.html).

Let us know how you make out, til then I'm keeping you in my thoughts.

sending good thoughts & strength in your direction, good luck!

My goodness - I know exactly what you are going through. Okay, not exactly - but a week ago today a leak was found in my eye. So I can understand how scared you are feeling right now. I'm sending you positive thoughts for your eye, and will be sure to send some extra vibes at 3:30. Please do let us know how it turns out.


I do hope it will be fine. And this is not an on/off thing. So if there's a problem it can probably be easily resolved.

Let us know how it turns out. And if it's a retinopathy related issue, check out what David Mendosa has to say about anti-VEGF drugs, they sounds interesting.


I'll be thinking of you today-- and praying that this is just stress. Nothing more.

Stay strong.


Kerri, hugs to you. I know this must be so scary.

Oh Kerri sending e-hugs your way! I really hope it's nothing serious, and if it is we're all here for you. Good luck!

K -

I wouldn't want to talk about it either - but I want to thank you for sharing this with us. You have the strength to put your fears out there - and that means a lot to those of us who have those same fears.

I'll be thinking of you today - and you'll be FIERCE - no matter what happens...

xo - N

I hope your appointment goes well with good results. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts today!

I'd like to know what your doc say because I had a very similar thing going on yesterday and it lasted about 1/2 hour though. It was like the floater was electrified, it caused a blind spot and I felt a little nauseous.

I googled "stroke", and did the tests like smile, lift arms, etc and I passed. So it wasn't a stroke, LOL. Plus, I was able to yell at the kids while I was on the computer, so my speech was OK too.

I was too lazy to call my eye doctor about it.

I hope everything everything turns out fine with your eyes.

I've had floaters for many years, well before diagnosis. It's actually the vitreous in your eye congealing (sounds gross, right?). It comes with age, although mine started in my late teens. Floaters and bright flashes can actually be symptoms of retinal detachment (not to scare you or anything), but that isn't diabetes-related. My eye doc peered into my retinas and found no detachment, just said I'll probably always have floaters. Hope you get the same kind of news, too.

Hi Kerri,

I'm around the same age as you and I've had Type 1 for 18 years. I experienced symptoms similar to yours a few months ago. Like you, with any change in my vision or in my general health, I head straight to the doctor's office and have it checked as much for my mental health as anything else.

Turned out it was nothing to be concerned about and it went away on its own.

Good for you for getting it checked out. You are going to be just fine.


Sending a hug and a prayer!

::ninja hugs::

Here's positive thoughts and prayers coming your way. You are very wise to not ignore the symptoms. PLEASE, no matter what the diagnosis, be sure to update us all as soon as you can because we'll all worry about it until you do.


I read your blog regularly - it helps me to see what the future holds for my son, and I love your honest approach to things. It seems like you have had such a rough couple of weeks, I'm so sorry to read this - hopefully all will be well, but it would be great not to have to worry about one more thing. Good luck today, and I'll keep my fingers crossed that it's just "one of those things".

Hi Kerri,

Like I told you Monday, I went through the gamut of retinopathy issues, and I never had any symptoms remotely like yours. The bleeder that eventually lead to the vitrectomy just started as a web-like image in my eye, and it was permanent--didn't go away, and within a couple of days I couldn't see anything out of that eye. Completely healed with the vitrectomy though.

So...three things to keep in mind:
1. It sounds like this may not even be diabetes-related,
2. It's almost definitely something that can be fixed, and
3. You're getting married this spring.


Wishing you all the best on your appointment and diagnosis.

Thinking of you today Kerri! I hope all is well.

Thinking of you..hope its nothing.


Hoping that all goes well at the doctor this afternoon. I will be thinking of you.

Praying for you this afternoon! Especially in about an hour!! :D

This health stuff is hard, I'm sorry. Here's a *hug*, and I'm praying for you too.

Oh, Kerri! I saw something similar while teaching in Taiwan, and the fear of what it could be and how the medical care there was not what I wanted it to be was a big part of why I came back to the States a few weeks ago. I am thinking of you! I went through my fears and the subsequent follow-up, but I know we'll both be okay. I'm praying for your eyes, for mine, and for everyone out there.

i hope it is not something too serious..and the appt goes well!

Sounds like you're already at the docs, but hope all's well. Even if it's the beginning of somethign retinpathic-related, laser, for as much as it's unpleasant, can likely stop it in its tracks or at least slow the progression of something, should you need it. Good luck.

Hi Kerri,
I've never left a post before but I have been reading your blog for a couple of weeks now... maybe months - I live in UK and have been diagnosed Type 1 since the age of 8; so for 19 years now. My HbA1C has never been great so I have had my first pump appointment last Monday and am due to start on it next Monday - not looking forward to it, but you seem to cope well and keep excellent BG levels by the sounds of things and still live your life - which to me is the most important thing. Last year I had a shock with my eyes too - I got into my car one morning and saw a spider like image, it was black in colour, only small and moved with my vision but never disappeared - it was very scary at the time and I like you went straight to the optician to get it checked out - it did turn out to be diabetes related, I had a bleed at the back of my eye. I have since had 2 sessions of laser on my left eye; everything is fine, I can still see as well as I could and because they caught it in time and it has been lasered I am hoping that that's the last of the treatment I will need, it has been a year almost now, I have had 2 follow ups - no more needed. Good luck for today, I hope that this something is nothing at all and nothing diabetes related.

Hi Kerri -
Just adding my good thoughts & energy to those above. Hope the appointment went well & keep us posted. You know how we worry about you.

I'm thinking of you Kerri and I hope all is well!
Best Wishes.

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