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What Matters.

I live every day with a pump at my hip
A meter close by, and a smile on my lips.

So many moments there are in my day
When it seems that my pancreas gets in the way,
Be it exercise, cooking or sleeping or driving,
I’m constantly checking to keep myself thriving.
And while my fiancé, my family and friends
Support me and hold me and love to no end,
I started to blog because I felt alone -
The only diabetic as far as I'd ever known.
Needing to find others who understood
How a number was scary, how a food could be good.
How I worried my eyes were damaged from cake.
I worried my worries were too little, too late.
How I worried my feelings were strange and unique
And that my diabetes made me some kind of freak.

I wrote my first post, took a great gasp of air,
Hit the big publish button and from out of thin air
My words were set loose to the great world wide web
And I wanted and hoped to hear what others said.
Within just a week I had found several others.
Type 1’s and type 2’s and some fathers and mothers.
These people, they knew, and I felt less alone.
I feared less my future and all the unknowns.
The blogging took off and it chronicled things
Like my job and my friends and my engagement ring.
I poured out my feelings and dealt with my fears,
I let loose my laughter and reigned in my tears.
I felt so much stronger with all the support
Of the people who knew how my body fell short.

When I peel back the layers to what matters most,
It's not about how many readers I host.
It's not about statcounts and not about feeds.
It's not about fame and it’s not about greed.
It’s not about comments or big recognition,
It’s about all the challenges of this condition.
This community knows me where I hurt the most.
It makes me feel normal, supported, and close.

I'm thankful for every day towards good health.
I’m thankful I’m not doing this by myself.
Endless thanks to the people who read these brave writers
And for making the burden we carry much lighter.

What matters most is community.

Comments

Kerri, I only hope that my daughter (who's 6) will handle this as well. So far, she's been nothing but incredible and an inspiration to us all. I often read her bits of your blog so she knows there are others like her. Thank you for making her feel less alone.

Amen, girl! The community indeed is a big part of what keeps us going.

I very much feel the same way with what I see in TuDiabetes.com too.

Beautiful. Thank you.

Beautiful!

Hi Kerri,

That was awesome. After reading your ever so eloquently written post, I remind myself that I'm definitely not alone. Thanks. :o)

Allison

Amen, indeed.

Thank you, Kerri-- for your support, your willingness to share your story (even the hard bits), and for your endless ability to inspire.

Simply beautiful

Thanks Kerri

This was beautiful. Thank you for sharing so much with us.

Awesome Kerri :) I always love reading your poems. Thank you, to you too, for sharing yourself with the D.O.C. I often look to your blog to see a glimpse into the future of my daughter and what her life will be when she grows up living with diabetes.

My hope is that she handles it as well as you do :) Thank you :)

Just to say that i luv to read your blog, im portuguese and here were i live in Portugal there is only one site in portuguese that is very difficul to find. Just to say that i have this desease sinse i was 27 and its not hard, its terrible to fight against all the old habits... I love youre strenght and i try to be a little better each day that pass... and funny it is, we are friends on facebook! Hope one day we can talk...
Hugs
Taty

Yay! That was Seussian. Loved it. You're so right--the support and understanding here is priceless. Thanks for the fun rhymes. Oh, and happy d-blogging day to you, too! :)

Wow, that must have taken you ages to write! Fab :o)

And thank you for being an inspiration for so many of us. It's appreciated.

Thanks for everything, Kerri. Great post. :-)

Wow I comment from the Amazing Kerri! Thank you so much for the compliment, it means so much.

Long time reader, first-time poster, 32-year-old with 21+ years of diabetes under my belt (and under control). Thanks so much, Kerri, for sharing. The online diabetes community means _so much_ to me now ... and it's for all the reasons you just rhymed. *standing ovation*

You know, I never thought anyone could make life with diabetes seem quite so entertaining. You've got the gift, Girl!

I love this post and all you do!

-SG

Your grace and spirit continue to inspire me. Thanks!

Thanks, Kerri! I fell less alone now... Susana

Kerri,

You are an inspiration to us all. You put it all out there for everyone to see and we appreciate it. There are a handfull of diabetes bloggers that I truly enjoy reading, you are one of them. I realized today that the reason I enjoy reading your blog (and the others) so much is because you (and them) are so open about diabetes and your emotions in every day life.

Stuart (Type 2)

Great post Kerry - I love reading your blog and knowing that I'm not the only one!

Have a great weekend!

Beautiful .. Thank you for being so open in sharing about your diabetes. you are truly an inspiration.

Hey Kerri!

I agree with you whenever, wherever...
Diabetes is easy when you stick together!
Or at least I say that it helps me;
Glad you're on the Diabetes OC!

Happy blog day, friend. :)

kerri this was wonderful. i loved every word of it. i needed a reminding that i wasnt alone in this fight today of all days. thank you so much!

aoife

Love it :) Thanks for all you do Kerri!

Kerri,

Sometimes, words escape me. I can't quite describe what's going on inside. There's stuff, and there's a lot of it, and it's not all that clear.

Some days, when I read your blog, I feel like your words really fit. And I can say to my roommates and friends, "Yeah, that's it. Read this post...that's what it's like."

Thanks for making me feel not so alone. And for helping to explain me too!

Celebrate YOU and your hard work...it helps me understand each day a bit more what my Coki is dealing with on her own.
I am a grateful mother,

Hi Kerri,
LOVED this post. Actually, I just mentioned it on my blog!
Thanks for being such an active member of such a great community. You rock!

Seriously, how long did that take you to write because it sums our community up so perfectly.

Thank you for all you do!

Kerri

Great poem. And thanks for the pointer to your first post. You've come a long way.

Thanks also for Blogabetes and LOLDiabetes, happy posts, and poignant writing.

You brought me into this community when I stumbled onto your dLife information. I'm so glad I found this community. You help so many people with your eloquent words and constant humor. We thank YOU!!

wow kerri,
That was amazing...and very well said. I actually just did a report about Diabetes for a class today and one of the requirements i had to touch on was Coping Mechanisms..and this is absolutly one of them. This post really pulls that topic all together. Reading this really reminds me of how, we are not alone in this battle everyday. Some days I just feel alone and wish i were at my Diabetes summer camp with all my friends, but when that is not possible, reading this made me feel "normal" again :) if you know what i mean..haha We are all in this together. Beautifully written poem kerri!
-Jenna

Great Post- Happy D-Blog Day!

Thank you guys so much -- I can't imagine where I'd be without you!

Hey Kerri! Thanks for all that you do! Happy d-blog day!

Kerri, thank you for your comment on my D-blog Day. I am glad that my post about the shift in the diabetes community could give that little nudge..... This IS a supportive community, and I am sure we all really want to keep it that way!

I am having trouble with your blog on Bloglines - I ALWAYS get your entry entitled the "Workout Plateau." It never changes. It doesn't show me your new entries, so I miss them!

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