« Oh the Captions! | Main | Seed. »

Thigh Highs.

Scene:  Friday night, post-workout.  Kerri's Thighs sigh, in unison,  leaning against the back of the movie theater seats as Kerri cuddled in to watch a movie. 

Left Thigh:  Oh man.  Thank goodness this girl is finally sitting down. 

Right Thigh:  (nodding in agreement, as best a thigh can)  No kidding.  That workout?  From last week?  I thought we were done with that.

Left Thigh:  Exactly!  She was whining about feeling sick, and trotting around with high blood sugars ... after that grueling first try last week, I figured we were pie-in-the-sky thighs.

Right Thigh:  What?

Left Thigh:  Pie-in-the ... never mind.

Right Thigh:  Dude, I can't even flex myself right now.  Box jumps?  What is she thinking?

Left Thigh:  The guy told her to do it.  (nods over to Chris, who is sitting next to Kerri in the theater)  He said it would be a good way to change up her workout.

Right Thigh:  (mocking Chris in a high-pitched voice)  Oh, I'm Chris!  I think it's a great idea for Kerri to try these sadistic exercises!  Maybe she'd like to be drawn and quartered next?

Left Thigh:  I have a plan.

Right Thigh:  (still speaking in high-pitched voice)  What is it?

Left Thigh:  Why are you still talking like that?

Right Thigh:  I don't know.  I can't stop.

Left Thigh:  (sighs a thigh-sized sigh)  Dude, all we have to do it wait until she goes to bed.  Then we clench up like those fist things and watch her have to crawl from bed in the morning.

Right Thigh:  Awesome!  That way she won't ever try to do that circuit workout again.  She'll go back to leaving us the hell alone.

Left Thigh:  So we're agreed?  Commence Operation Thwart?

Right Thigh:  Agreed.  A guy from my old job actually had this lamp on his desk.  He is awesome.  He will always be awesome.

Right Thigh and Left Thigh: (in unison) To Operation Thwart! 

Kerri:  (whispering)  I can hear you guys.  And I'm doing the workout again, regardless of your stupid pact.  We have a wedding in six months, guys.  Six.  And I'll be damned if I don't make some improvements before then.  Get ready for more of this.  I don't care if you complain.  Now shut up so I can watch the rest of the movie.

Chris:  Are you talking to yourself again?

Right Thigh:  (still mocking Chris)  Are you talking to yourself again?

Kerri:  You are totally getting the infusion set next time.

Right Thigh:  (voice dropping back into range)  Damn.

Comments

OMFG This was the funniest post.

"I can't even flex myself right now." I'm crying at that line I'm laughing so hard.

And the high pitched mocking voice. Oh the tears are streaming.

Good laugh this early in the AM. :)

(And the leg lamp from "A Christmas Story"...love it!)

My brother got my dad that lamp for Christmas last year.

Stupid thighs!

"FRA-GEE-LAY - must be italian".
I hope your thighs didn't revolt too much!

Kerri, you are too funny..
By the way, give yourself a break..that wedding dress doesn't show your thighs! AND you always use a thigh site..don't want to bulk up too much!! HA!

That had me truly laughing out loud! I bet those aren't the only body parts plotting revenge after that workout!

LOL. I had a killer yoga class today (isn't yoga supposed to be meditative?)and my upper arms are having the same conversation as your thighs.

Never underestimate the power of thigh resistance to change, eh? Those thighs be damned--keep going! Let me know if you managed to crawl out of bed the next morning! You crack me up! I love the way you write. Ehmmm...when is that book coming out? December? :)

A good laugh for Monday morning!!

bwah! You know how to bring on the funny.

So what did you do to deserve winning that "Major Award"?

Ha! That was awesome!! :-)

Post a comment

(All comments are moderated. Thanks for your patience!)