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Sausage Opera.

The music swells, but in that quiet way.  (So maybe it's not swelling.  Maybe the music is pretty quiet, but I want complete silence because I feel like garbage and I just want to take a nap.)  Small smidge of a fever, trace ketones, and a lethargy that made me test to confirm I wasn't 348 mg/dl (and I wasn't - 146 mg/dl instead).  Instead of going to the gym, I toddled off to bed. 

As my head rested against the cold pillow, I sighed deeply and welcomed the coming nap.

Instead, it was time again for the Sausage Opera.

The Sausage Opera, now playing.  Every freaking night.

She comes bounding in, trilling and purring, walking all over my face.  "Meow ... meowmeowmeow -Wake up!"  No sleep for Kerri, who feels sick and feverish and Crumbs Morrone-y. 

That foolish gray cat has been a complete menace for weeks now.  Earlier in the month, she was making her home on Chris's face, putting her nose in his ears, paws on his head, and occassionally trying to sniff his mouth.  This did not go over particularly well with my husband-to-be, so we started shutting the bedroom door during the night.  This should have been a good arrangement, as the cats were given 3/4 of the apartment to themselves, including the food supply, litter box, and a smattering of things to play with. 

However, this was not enough for young Sausage.

She has taken to camping herself outside of the bedroom door and singing.  Yowling.  Picking at the floor with her paws and throwing herself against the door.  Purring loudly.  Singing her little gray head off.

"Oh my God, what is she doing?"  I mumble in my sleep, fussing around and putting my hand on Chris's shoulder.  "She's singing again.  Make her stop!"

Automatic Response Chris reaches beside the bed, where he is stashing a supply of balled up socks to throw at the door.  Mumbling incoherently, he fires one off, the door booms, and Siah stops mid-chirp.

There is a blessed 15 minutes of silence.  We start to edge back towards sleep.  Until ...

"Oh so la MEEEE-OW!!!"  Siah throws her little six pound body against the door and belts out a second chorus.  "Meow!  Meow!  MEOW!"

We have tried filling the food bowls to capacity.  We have tried petting her before bed.  We have even put a suitcase in front of the bedroom door to keep her at bay.  Nothing stops the Sausage.  This little bugger always has her way, from chewing on insulin pump tubing to leaping all over our heads at five in the morning.  Now she's made the move to opera.

And we're not sleeping.

If you have any suggestions, we're all ears.  HELP!

Comments

Hi Kerri,

My husband and I had the same problem with our little furball. It's expensive, but we found that canned air (the kind for cleaning computer keyboards) had *quite* the effect on him ;-) Good luck!

Drug her.

Update.

My 15-year-old cat had been doing the same ever since she moved from my parents' house to my apartment last year. I thought it might be arthritis, but after a very expensive vet visit and arthritis medicine, she's still howling away day and night.

The only thing I can figure is she doesn't like the change in scenery. Typical cat.

I agree with Shannon. Kitty Valium. Only solution.

The canned air that Kathy mentioned may work. I saw something at Petsmart that I though about buying to use on my cats. It is canned pressurized water that sprays a mist when the cat gets near it. It has a motion detector on it and I believe it swivels as well to follow the cat and spray. It was like 40 bucks so I passed for the time being.
My cats don't like the vacuum cleaner so I used to position it outside my bedroom door with the cord plugged into a power strip. Smokey the cat would start meowing I would roll over and flip the switch on the power strip-vacuum would start up and cat would freak out and take off. Of course 2 minutes later he was back at the door!! Good luck

Spray water works well for us. We had the same trouble (had to close the door because of kitty annoyances at night and then the cats would cry outside the door. And just like with kids, sometimes these kitties just have to cry it out for a while. Our eventually did give up. After a few sprays directly in the face.

Well Kerri all I can say is that I can relate. I have three cats and they can be a handful. The best thing that I have found to deter an unwanted habit is a spray bottle of water. But you need to keep up with it otherwise the effect goes away and they resume the unwanted behavior.

I guess I am weak ... my cats run the house.

Earplugs

My cat did this until I left one of my dresser drawers open by mistake one night. The little devil jumped up and curled up and slept among my socks and underwear. If you are up to losing some dresser space, try cleaning out your bottom drawer and put a cozy blanket in it with a couple of kitty treats and maybe you will end up with some peace at night.

No kitty coma. Geesh, Shannon and Nicole are mean!LOL

Poor little Siah. (I say this becuase I want a kitty but would probably be pouring whiskey in her food bowl if she was mine.)

earplugs, spray water, positioning the vacuum just so...tried 'em all.

Let me know when you find one that works. ;)

Earplugs isn't a bad suggestion, but you might miss your pump alarm or alarm clock and as I recall, don't you need a 9.8 on the Richter scale to wake you up?

Super soaker. Squirt every time she starts yowling.

Is she fixed? Could she be in heat?

White noise machine? Seems like the kitty crazies to me. Happens to the best of us. I am about to get a kitten, and I live in a studio apartment, so now I'm thinking of the nights of kitty opera or other odd things that may make it hard to sleep. G rrr....I know they're worth it, though.

Your story reminds me of an old joke about a man with a serious stutter who regularly goes to the horse races and bets on the same horse because it almost wins every time. The horse is always leading until the last few yards and then it pulls up and stops. The stuttering man finally gets so mad he goes down to the trainer to suggest a fix for the horse's problem. The stuttering man tells the trainer that he heard that putting a piece of lead behind the horse's ear would end the problem (stuttering omitted). The trainer becomes very interested and asks how to put the lead behind the horse’s ear. The stuttering man says, "With a fu fu fu fu!@ing gun!"

I'm sorry I have no suggestions except to wait out the cat. I love cats but it's been 20 years since I've told that joke and I couldn't help myself.

Kerri - Feliway might work. It's a solution that mimics the feline facial pheromone - one of the reasons that they love to rub their cheeks on the corners of walls and our faces. It comes in a spray or a plug-in diffuser. We opted for the diffuser and don't notice that it has any odor at all and it seems to have calmed our kitties, especially when they're in the bedroom (where we have it plugged in). Here's a URL for the product at Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Farnam-Comfort-Feliway-Electric-Difuser/dp/B000FH708I/ref=pd_bxgy_k_text_b/104-7054046-7964722

OK, NEW RULE!!!! Do not share the amusing blog entry by the lovely Kerri with your spouse if you have a grey kitty who also meows opera arias in the middle of the night.
Kitty's new name has now become, over my protests, SAUSAGE!!! Well, it was better than the "Haggis" he was threatening to call her!
And how do we deal with her 3AM meows--I pet her til she hushes! Another not so smart move on my part!

Awww ur cat is adowable!!! My cat and ur gray cat look like twins!! My cat is gray too but with a white neck, paws and mouth. But my cat looks the same. Adorable cat.

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