"Because then you'd go ass over teakettle and you'd be ..."
Their looks stopped me.
"Ass over," my voice started to trail off. "Teakettle? You know that expression."
A collective, "What the heck are you talking about?"
My stammered response: "My mom says this all the time. About falling down or something? My Grammie used to say it, too."
I am not the only one who knows this phrase. Plenty of people know this phrase. My mother knows this phrase, so I pick up the phone and call her office. Her co-worker answers and knows who I am, as there are only three people that work in her office.
"Hi, Brian? It's Kerri. Is my mom there?"
"No, she's not. Just stepped out for lunch. What's up?"
"Okay. Well I bet you can confirm something for me. Does she ever use the phrase 'ass over teakettle?'"
"Oh sure she does. There was that time she had us all doing cartwheels in the office breakroom and she said it then."
I put my hand over the mouthpiece of the phone and address my co-workers.
"He said that my mom used that very phrase when they were doing cartwheels in the breakroom."
Co-workers start to chuckle at me.
"Of course she does cartwheels in the office."
I thank Brian, hang up the phone, and am instantly hit with the realization that the apple does not fall far from the tree.
But if it did, it would tumble ass over teakettle, damnit.