I'm bored at the gym.
I am there, though, working hard at least five days a week. (As opposed to the lady I saw there yesterday who was just sitting on the bike and watching tv. She was there for a full 45 minutes. Just sitting there. Not pedaling.) I hit the treadmill. I'm on the stepper. I'm trying to make sense of the elliptical machine without looking like Bill Murray in Lost in Translation. (If you know where I can find a video clip of that, please let me know. I've scoured the internet but came up with nothing. And it's a very funny clip.)
The point is, I work out and push myself, but not as hard as I could be. And I've reached a bit of a plateau.
It was at this moment of realization that the fictional phone rang. (Ahem.)
Larry Bird: Kerri. Hey!
Kerri: Larry! Oh my God, I haven't talked to you in ages. What's up? How's your weight?
LB: Honestly, I've been up and down lately. You know, all the cookouts in the summer and late nights out. I'll tone back up this winter.
Kerri: Me, too. I feel bored working out lately. I've started changing my weight routine so that's more cardio-based, you know? No breaks between sets. It's exhausting!
LB: Good move. Tip from Chris?
LB: I'm trying out pilates. And yoga. I'm feeling pretty Zen lately, Ker. Soon I'll be back to practicing my three-point shots with my eyes closed.
Kerri: Any suggestions on how to beat these workout doldrums, my friend? I'm bored, dude.
LB: Honestly? I know you change your cardio workouts gently so you don't hit the hypos hard, but how about a new playlist for your shuffle? Didn't you pick up a sweet shuffle from the AADE event?
Kerri: That sounds good. I've been listening to the Beastie Boys lately. And mixing in some Arctic Monkeys.
LB: Sometimes new music goes a long way. How about some Kenny Rogers? Man, I love me some Kenny Rogers.
Kerri: He looks like my Spanish teacher from 8th grade. But I'm not too into country music.
LB: Well, find what works for you, Miss Kerri. Whatever keeps you sticking with it. I'll check in on you later. Tell your mom I said hi.
Kerri: Will do. Thanks for calling, Larry.
LB: No problem.
Ah, Larry. Thanks for seeing me through this bout with fitness fatigue.