Magic Tongs Included.
Standard discussion between my mother and I when I was about nine years old.
"Ma, can I have this twix bar?"
"No, Kerri. Let's save it for when you're low."
This logic always sucked, as far as I was concerned. When I'm low, I can't enjoy anything I'm eating. Saving the "good snacks" for a low sounded like a waste. Usually, I'm sucking down a can of juice or munching on something laced with sugar, but not tasting it. Panic eating. My tastebuds are in time-out when I'm rocking a low blood sugar. They're in bed with the comforter pulled up to their tastebuddie ears, pretending they can't hear the Twix bar knocking at the door.
"Let me in! I taste good!"
Now that I'm older, I don't bother "saving treats" for when I'm low. That's akin to tossing them into a kiln. I'd rather treat with bland tasting juices and save that Twix bar for when I can actually enjoy the taste.
Yesterday, at the diner near my office, I went in for an iced hazelnut coffee and became distracted by a candy display on the counter.
"Oh, I've seen those before. My son has had them. He loves them." My co-worker nodded approvingly. I grew up with Nerds candies and Fun Dip - what is this Lightning Bugs Gummy Candy? (Made by Kandy Kastle, Inc, the company formerly known as Kan't Spell, Ink.)
Oooh! Magic tongs are included!
Apparently, this candy comes with like seventeen gummy worm things and a pair of purple plastic tongs that light up. Therefore, grabbing the gummy wormy thing with the "magic tongs" creates a lightning bug effect. Therefore making the candy tremendously creepy to eat and difficult to mentally grasp, but tremendously cool at the same time.
Therefore, I had to buy it.
Packing 31g of carbs for the whole package, this diner-sponsored treat wasn't much to taste. The gummy worms were a diasppointment and they felt oddly squishy. Little sugar slugs.
But they did light up.
And I proceeded to light them all up, eat a few, and toss the rest in the garbage. I then proceeded to test the "magic tongs" on other things in my office, including the English ivy, a loose test strip, and my fingertip.
"Phone home," I whispered. Was food ever this fun and pointless when I was a little kid? Can this candy even be loosely classified as "food?"
Overall, Lightning Bugs Gummy Candy gets Two Arbitrary Lazy Sausages out of Five.