A View from the Train.
They were older than me by decades, edging gently towards eighty. They were just a few rows up from me on the train back to RI. She wore a white blouse with a necklace of bright green beads, most likely awarded to her by a grandchild. She kept fingering the beads as she talked with her husband, who sat close and leaned in so close to her that the brim of his hat touched her gray hair.
Their quiet conversation caught my attention as I read the bridal magazine I had picked up in the train station. I cast a glance at them, smiled, and went back to flipping the glossy pages. Until -“Oh my goodness. Oliver! Did you …”
I looked up. The old man flashed a grin to his wife and tipped his hat.
She waved her hand underneath her nose, her green beads shuffling around her collar like horses around a track.
“Oh Oliver! That is the smelliest fart I have ever, ever smelled! You are a disgusting old man!”
I didn’t expect it. A laugh escaped me and I quickly ushered my hand to my mouth to cover my smile.
The old woman turned to me.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. You’ll know when it hits you. He’s such a nice man, aside from the gas.”
Her voice was smiling. Her husband leaned over her and gave me a wave.
“Sorry, miss! I had bacon for breakfast." He took a little bow. "Oh, a wedding magazine! You must be getting married. Is he gassy?”
I laughed until I almost cried, hiding my face in my wedding magazine.
Chris, I look forward to being weird and old with you.
Comments
Oh, this was just beautiful, Kerri. I LOVE these kinds of moments.
Aside from the gas.
Posted by: Nicolep | July 12, 2007 12:08 PM
Farts on a train....a virtual gas chamber.
Laughing got me into 16 yrs of trouble I tell ya. During the first month we started dating, Jeff farted for the first time ever in front of me and I laughed.
I've never had peace ever since.
Posted by: Shannon | July 12, 2007 12:13 PM
OMG, does it get any better than that? So sweet and so real!
Posted by: Jolie | July 12, 2007 12:14 PM
Kerri-Oh my GOD!!! That really made me laugh!!!
Posted by: Dave | July 12, 2007 12:18 PM
Nothing worse than gas in a closed area like that. No where to go. See, diabetics can have fun too.
Posted by: Chris | July 12, 2007 12:25 PM
Shouldn't the title of this post be "A Pugh From The Train"?
Posted by: Shannon | July 12, 2007 12:26 PM
Kerri- This story is too funny! I sent the link to your blog to my fiance'. I can totally see that being us. Congrats on your engagement again!
Posted by: Allison | July 12, 2007 12:51 PM
Whoa! I didn't see that coming. Very funny.
Those farts from the elderly are indeed rough.
Posted by: Carey | July 12, 2007 12:54 PM
Absolutely hysterical!
You know it's true love when.....
Posted by: Chloe | July 12, 2007 12:57 PM
Not only is that story hilarious and touching at the same time, it really reminds me of my grandparents, who have been married for over 60 years! Here's to a similar record for all of us out there. (With more or less farting, depending on your preference.)
Posted by: Hannah | July 12, 2007 02:45 PM
Oh Kerri - that made me laugh and laugh ... I'm still giggling as I type this!! That old lady sounds like me - heh heh ....
Like Shannon - I made the mistake of laughing 13 yrs ago and, well, I'm paying the price every day of my life LOL LOL. I hope you and Chris grow old and weird together too alongside the rest of us :D
Posted by: Jamie | July 12, 2007 05:11 PM
*ROTFL*
definitely deserves a *ROTFL*
Posted by: Rachel | July 12, 2007 08:42 PM
This is so funny! Ok, so the occasional gas is, well, accepted. But please, for the love of God, NO DUTCH OVENS!!! How come boys can't figure out that this isn't funny?
Posted by: Lindsey | July 12, 2007 09:28 PM
Oh mercy
Thanks Kerrie, the tears are streaming down my face from laughing. I hope no-one in a cubicle nearby hears me!
Posted by: Bernard Farrell | July 13, 2007 08:16 AM
LOL You met the Gas Master. That is too flipping funny and growing old and weird is a very good thing.
Posted by: George | July 13, 2007 04:56 PM