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Unlocking the Memory.

Strange, this "blogging."  Unlocking this memory.

It’s one of those things that I never expected would interest me, and then once I started, I never expected anyone to read it.  I write this stuff to get it out of my system and to deal with the emotional aspects of being diabetic.  And I write it so that the parents of diabetic kids, and the diabetic kids themselves, will maybe read it and see that they’re not alone. 

But mostly, I write it to write it. And I never expected anyone to read it.

Which is why writing about a moment that made me feel so vulnerable didn’t really give me pause, because who would see it, really? 

Written back when I first started the blog, I told the story about a time when I was in 5th grade and a classmate made me feel like … well, “Crumbs Morrone.”  She and another classmate had left a note in my locker about how they hated me because I was diabetic.  It was a dark moment in my diabetes memory and one that I haven’t forgotten about, even now, so many years later.  But I did keep it locked up and close.

It’s been almost two years since I started blogging.  I had sort of forgotten about that post.

Until I received an email from that classmate.

“I don’t know why I’m writing you.  … I guess the only thing I can say is I’m sorry.  I wanted to let you know that it is one of the things that I remember and regret daily.” 

I haven’t talked to this classmate in ten years.  I never thought she would ever read my blog.  The shock of hearing from her was tremendous.

“I work at a high school now and one of my students is diabetic.  I’ve told her the story about what I did to you one day when we were talking one-on-one.  I explained how mean I was and how ignorant.  And I told her about your blog.”

I can’t help it – I start to cry at this point. 

“I wanted you to know what just as you remember, so do I.  And it still stings my memory as well.”

Thank you, Red Headed Girl, for letting me unlock this memory and set us both free.

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Comments

Wow, empowering in a really sad way. I am sorry for your experience, memory and the ability to relive the hurt you felt. It does not make the situation any better knowing that the girl that wrote the note thinks about it as well. I hope my daughter does not endure such instances however I am sure she will - diabetes or no diabetes. Thank you for sharing, your spirit is more free for it.

Wow Kerri, that's amazing.

The power of the internet, huh?

It's pretty cool that she had the nerve to apologize after all of these years. How awesome that she's now in the position to do positive things for kinds with diabetes.

Thank you for sharing this with us, Kerri. You are right about "forgetting" certain instances, and yet something that happened later on down the line suddenly reminds you how those moments continue to shape your life.

It's amazing what happens when people grow up and admit mistakes. I have had a handful of people (as a result of the 'net) find me and tell me they're sorry for teasing (and worse) back in junior high. It has helped me to forgive.

Glad to hear that she did the same and that she admits her mistakes to her students. "Teach your children well", I suppose. :)

Kerri,

Just wanted to take the opportunity to thank you for what you do here. It does indeed make me feel less alone. I recently had the thought that Olivia might grow up to be a woman much like you - diabetic and strong and funny and creative in spite of (and because of) it.

Paige

Wow! It is sad that you had to live with those feelings about that moment. Nice, that she apologized.

I worry about those things for my 7 year old. She told me a couple of weeks ago that a girl in her class told her that diabetes was gross. I always try to re-iterate to her that diabetes is not her fault and she never has to apologize for having it.

Thanks for sharing this with your readers.

That is amazing and so freeing.


Words are powerful weapons. That old "sticks and stones" adage couldn't be less true.

I'm glad to hear that the this person got in touch with you and apologized.

What a freeing moment that must've been for you.

That is truly amazing, Kerri. I'm glad she contacted you and had the balls to apologize. That must have taken some courage to do - kudos to her.

I agree, Julia - kudos to her indeed.

Wow, sort of Kevin Bacon-esque in the movie Flatliners.

I'm sorry you had to experience such cruelty in the fifth grade and of course I'm already clenching my fists with merely the thought of anyone doing the same to Charlie.

Wow. I certainly didn't see that coming. I have a new respect for her now. "Red Head," if you're reading this, you obviously know who I am, and you also should know that apologizing for something like that is big of you, even all these years later. Makes me think about all the people I probably need to apologize to.

Looks like the MeanieHead girl isn't so mean years later--she's contrite. How incredible that she found you, read about the experience, and apologized years later. I'm impressed.

Reading your post brought tears to my eyes. It made me remember some of my dark diabetes moments. It is nice when the person (people) responsible for some of those moments put themselves in the spot light and apologize. It doesn't take the pain and action away, but it does help let go. I'm glad you got that little bit of closure.

Wow. Who woulda thought that she would have found your blog?

Amazing.

Very big of her to write you and apologize.

I am very thankful that we have been able to leverage this blogging thing and have developed many great friendships from it. Even if they are just virtual - for now.

Thanks for all you do Friend!

Amazing. Pretty cool of her to contact you like that. People can be surprising. :)

There was a red head in our class? *scanning memory* nope, still nothing.

Bobby, apology accepted. :P

Kerri, as the freakishly tall girl in our class, you shoulda told me.. i woulda kicked her ass! (Oh wait, I was kind of a wuss... probably not. I would have at least written about it in my little journal!)

It's interesting how people act towards those who are different - especially in middle school when we all want to be the cool kid. Makes me wonder if I owe anyone a letter, but I think I gave up trying to be a cool kid when I grew a few feet and had braces and glasses...

Change your basals... you are always low. But, I do know how it sucks to be low, and the feeling like you just can't get up. Damn diabetes is a roller coaster ride.

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