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Twenty.

Me as a wee little lass.Twenty years.

I thought I would feel this epiphany, this moment of clarity, a feeling of pride and accomplishment that I have lived such  a normal life with diabetes.  That I would have sage words of wisdom to impart.  Some tips and tricks, maybe.  Advice.  Something I could look back on in another twenty years and nod my head in agreement with.

Twenty years of insulin. Of blood sugar tests.  Of diet plans and food exchanges and carb counting and ratios.  Twenty years of my mother worrying.  Of doctor appointments.  Of explaining the disease to new bosses, new friends, new lovers.  Of meters and needles and glucose tabs.  Of highs and ketones, of lows and juice.

I was just a little kid when I was diagnosed.  My mother and father were strong for me then.  Now, I am all of my twenty-seven years and strong for myself, leaning on my friends and family and support systems when I need help.  But I don't have any words of advice.  I'm not an expert.  I deal with this the best I can.  There are days when I feel confident and in control.  There are others when I'm not sure which way the world is spinning.  Just like you. Just like everyone.

Twenty years ago today, I was diagnosed with diabetes.  Today feels good.  I feel no different from yesterday.

Here's to tomorrow being just the same.

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Comments

This is one anniversary I won't congratulate you on.....

But here's to another 20 healthy, happy years :)

Kerri, this is utter nonsense. You have a wealth of wisdom to offer. Try to be modest all you want, but we will call you on it every time. Elizabeth and I have enjoyed the lessons and thoughts you've shared far too much to accept such "I've not grown into a strong women, I'm still just a lost kid inside" BS!

That said, I wish you another 20 years of health, prosperity, and wisening (if that's a word).

Kerri-
What a cute little girl!
I wish you the best of health and luck in your next twenty. You've given me some great advice in the past year since I've been blogging. And I know that I'm not the only one. Sometimes the best kind of guidance is listening.

David - It's less "lost little kid" and more "I don't know what the hell to say." :) Twenty years of all this stuff and you'd think I would have laid claim to some profundity. Instead, I'm just sitting here thinking, "I feel exactly the same as I did yesterday."

And as of today, "unwisening" is a word. A fun one, at that. :)

I don't have much to say other than you have more strength then you know. I think you are an inspiration.


Brit

You are a voice for many with diabetes and those who care for them. Thanks for sharing your stories with us.

"Today feels good. I feel no different from yesterday.

Here's to tomorrow being just the same."

Perfect.

Cured or not, I hope that Joseph can say the same on his twentieth anniversary.

May the next twenty find you happy, healthy and fighting fit!

I have definately got some great advice from you these past few months! Here's to another 20 awesome healthy years, in which I am sure I will get even more great advice..

SAN DIMAS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Laura, You are forever the Bill to my Ted. :)

Kerri,
If only every obstacle in life could be challenged to a game of Rock Paper Scissors. I'm sure you'd rock paper scissors the 'betes ass off.

In lew of that, keep on keepin' on.

tek

"There are days when I feel confident and in control. There are others when I'm not sure which way the world is spinning. Just like you. Just like everyone."

Hear, hear.

adorable picture, btw.

I don't really want to say "Happy Anniversary", but I do want to say that I'm happy you're here and still going strong after 20 years with diabetes.

Just think...5 more years and you can get one of those Lilly for Life medals, then you can say "I've spent 25 years waiting for a cure for diabetes and all I got was this lousy medal." ;)

Kerri -

Here's to twenty more years of your imparting your everyday wisdom. The difference you're making in this community is real. And it matters more than you'll ever know.

N

Congrats on 20 years of health and here's to another 20 more!

Congrats, Kerri. I (and the rest of us) hope to follow in your footsteps.

here's to twenty more years of hoping and praying for a cure, all that white noise, test strips everywhere, pumps that keep getting better ... and all the other fun stuff that you get to do cause you're diabetic

... just wanted to thank you kerri. you've made such an impact in my life. all of your advice and little stories are so helpful. thanks so much!

Congrats on such an important milestone!

-Stella

Frik you were a cutie! And congrats on 20 years of doing a fabulous job with your Diabetes. Oh, wait, please give your Mom a big hug and congrats from me too, because I know all too well what she went through when you were diagnosed (having your little one diagnosed and taking care of them is no easy task).

So, congrats to BOTH of you! Just you being here, on the internet is helping so many people. Always remember that :)

Congratulations Kerri on 20 healthy years! I just celebrated 20 years of living with diabetes myself. Like you, I too thought I would feel some revelation. However, the day just came and went, and life went on. Ob-la-di, ob-la-da. Here's to 20 more healthy years for us both!

Valerie
Barton Alumni
blog lurker

Wow, 20 years. I'm glad you are happy,healthy, and still kickin' D A* every day. You're an inspiration-even if you don't feel like it. Every single post imparts the learned wisdom of years w/D.
May there be many more.(posts, not years w/D)



Wonderful News. Im very happy that you are healthy person. Good Luck to you!

Congratulations seems a weird thing to say, but anyway, I'm glad you're here to share your experiences and insights. They've helped me immensely.

That and you love Eddie Izzard just as much as I do, so, y'know, you can't help but be awesome. :D

Congratulations on living 20 years succesfully with diabetes. I hope that one day your anniversary will be- here's to another year without diabetes.

Why now? Your 20 years on the 5th anniversary of 9/11? Do you really need all this attention and everyones comments saying how cute your baby picture is, esp. today? Think you'd have more tact after 27 years; looks like someone still has some growing up to do.

*rolls eyes at Anonymous*

Sheesh. Some people. Not even worth the trouble of a scathing quip.

K, your openness is a gift to me. Thanks from the bottom of my sweet sweet heart.

OK, I'm going to say it... Happy Anniversay!!! WooHoo!! Congratulations, you should be proud. You're doing a great job of playing the cards you've been dealt. I know you are stronger for having D because I know that I am stronger for having it. (Not that I won't take a hit on the cure bottle when they pass it around. ;-) )

I am marching toward my 38th anniversay with D and life is good. When I get to my 40th maybe I'll come to the Northeast and we can have a big bowl of clam chowder and a humongous NY bagel (load up those pumps baby!).

Again congratulations on reaching your 20th anniversary in good health.

(BTW, I installed the newest copy of IE7 (release candidate 1) and am no longer receiving those phishing notifications on your website that I told you about a couple of days ago.)

Congrats on reaching this milestone. May the next twenty years bring you everything you dream of...

Kerri, congrats. I'm sure this is just a small drop in test strip for you.

Happy about you!

- J.B.

You are so inspiring, and beautiful and courageous, and bring hope to people that they CAN live a healthy life with diabetes. I can't wait for us all to say, in your words "I used to have diabetes."

Thank you for all you do!

G

Ditto what everyone else has said. Maybe you didn't have a profound revelation, but all these little nothings add up to a BIG something (borrowing from You've Got Mail).
Keep it up! :)

Apparently, ANONYMOUS, it appears that YOU need all the attention, on the 5th anniversary of 9/11. I'd think you'd have more tact. On a day when many are in mourning and searching for a sense of peace, your tribute is to come along and frak with this woman. Drown any puppies today, either?

- Laura

A Quick Note to Anonymous,

Thank you for stopping by my diabetes blog and taking a read. Your perspective is appreciated.

In case you are new to Six Until Me. or just passing through, it is a blog about life with diabetes. I was diagnosed twenty years ago on September 11, 1986. This blog connects me with other diabetics and serves, with other diabetes blogs, as an online support group. We write about our lives and the way that diabetes folds in. There is a community here that is supportive, compassionate, and brilliant in a thousand individual ways.

And you ask, "Why now?" Because September 11, 1986, is the day I was diagnosed. September 11, 2001, is the date of horrific terrorist attacks on the United States. To me, both dates are extremely important because they have significantly shaped my life. I wrote about my diagnosis here, on my diabetes blog, because this is where I deal with my emotions about diabetes. My emotional struggles with the September 11th attacks were attended to in the parts of my life I don't blog about.

Just because something is not written about does not mean it is not happening. And just because something is written about does not make it the only thing that matters today.

All my best,
Kerri.

What a milestone! It's a chance to stop and reflect on all that you have accomplished with, and in spite of, diabetes. Your voice, insight and candor are such an inspiration and you have made a tremendous difference in my own journey with diabetes. Thank you for that and here's to you!

CONGRATULATIONS KERRI!

I really want to send you a very big THANK YOU! Why? Because it was your blog that introduced me to the OC-webring several months ago. I have had D for 45 years, diagnosed when I was 10 years old sometime in the fall of 1961, in the 6th grade..... At that time I lived in Westchester, NY. So long ago, and I am doing just fine. I have two healthy "adult" children 32 and 29 years old, neither diabetic. Diabetic is considered by some to be an "improper" word to use nowadays, but I see it as a badge, proof that I have so well survived the D! Because it is a hard battle! I want to thank you because before reading your blog I was terribly alone with D. I knew no other diabetic, I talked to noone about it, except of course the "doctors". and there it was and is usually a battle. My diabetes is very difficult, brittle. My total daily dose is only 14 units of humalog with my trusty Cozmo pump. 14 units for an adult is very weird and being so sensitive to food, exercise, insulin really makes balance an uphill job. Before I was all alone with this battle, but now I know I am NOT alone, that there are many in this battle with me and that really helps alot. I am so use to struggling with this alone that it is difficult for me to come out in the open, stop the "lurking" and open my own blog. I believe so strongly that what makes D so very difficult is that each diabetic reacts differently, emotionally and physically to medications, exercise, food and all that life throws at you! One really cannot judge how others deal with their D because it is so hard to get in their shoes! I want to thank you so very much for introducing me into this world of other diabetics, where we can all share similar experiences and laugh at our struggles. Look if you don't laugh, then you cry! Maybe some day I will figure out how to actually open my own blog. It is all a bit intimidating given that I have been in a closet by myself with this D for years! Furthermore, I am no super computer genius, but I wish I could send you a picture of myself so you could put an image to the person who is talking.Once again, thank you for leading me out into this world of other diabetics all of us coping with the same difficulties. Here is a very big ((((((HUG))))))) and I wish you many more happy years in the future.

Hi Anon :)

Who's the one who has tact? Certainly not you. I guarantee you are coming back to read the responses to your comment....who wants attention? Take a wild guess, Anonymous.

People are allowed to live their lives on 9/11 and talk about things other than the attacks.

Kerri - Very well said in your note to anonymous.

Anonymous - Life goes on. Ask the women interviewed on MSN yesterday. She is the mother of a baby born on that day whose father died in the towers - she has celebrated her son's birthday on the 11th each year since - because, in spite of the tragedy of that day - it marks her son's birth. For others, it marks wedding anniversarys or the date a relative died (not related to the events of that day) or some other milestone. Should the world re-date those milestones - talk about them, write about them, celebrate them on the 10th or the 12th - would that ease anyone's pain? I don't think so. Would it make the day any more significant if we only talked or wrote about the attacks? Nope, wouldn't do that either.

Kerri is an honest and selfless writer. She does what many people simply CAN'T do - gives words to the things that they don't talk about - she puts on paper - for the world to see - some of her deepest fears and most intimate moments. She does it because she knows how much it helps for someone to realize that they're not alone. That's not selfish or attention-grubbing in the least.

Congratulations Kerri! Thanks so much for the blog that you reach out to us with. I think most of us can say that it was you that has inspired us to write our own. Keep it up!

Kerri, You are an inspiration to all who read your blog. Thank you for all you do. You are a wonderful and caring person.

Kerri,

Congradulations, and happy dia-birthday! I have to say that I fell similar to you after living with diabetes for 20 years. Its a weird feeling, but its peaceful and ... soothing.

Congrats Kerri!

A terrific milestone.

I celebrate my anniversary too - but since I can't remember/find/track down the exact DAY, I just celebrate for the whole month.

I think it is important to recognize these things because our lives are so filled, day to day, with all of the little things we do to make it through each year.

Way to go Kerri - you're awesome!

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