Spam I am. I am spam.
I realize what a desperate pun the title of this post is, but moving past that, I am sick of spam. SICK OF IT.
I have a serious filter on my Movable Type system here, but it doesn’t delete any comments or trackbacks without my consent. So, three or four times a week, I go poking around in the “questionable comments” to see what kind of spam was skewered. Today just about made my head explode.
I found the following comments that were attempted to be left on Six Until Me. (note: All typos were left as is. And any links have been disabled but bolded, so you can see where these villains want to lure you away):
“Hey, found ur sight thru another blog. want to send nude pics to me thats kewl. Talk to you tonight luv.”
“Want to increase the size of your UNIT? Click here. Click click here.”
“Thank you for blogging about DIABETES. Maybe we could chat about it sometime? Click here for more information on me.” (I almost believed this one. Until I clicked there. And went blind momentarily.)
“test.” (I did. 167 mg/dl. I corrected back down to 100 mg/dl. Thank you, Spammer.)
“DIA BET Ess is for you to write about. Come visit my site and see what I am writting about. XOXOXO.”
“Can’t you tell me how to find someone in this big, fast world? I’m looking for love and have tried every online dating service. Maybe this will work.”
“Need affordable car insurance? Click here.”
“Wicked hot deals! Buy ur drugs online from Canada and save billions of dollas! No disclaimer and u can have them shopped to a PO Box if u want to.”
“test” (What are they testing? To see if they can comment on my blog? I think NOT!)
“Big? Bigger? Biggest? Come see.”
This crap makes me crazy. I do my best to run a blog that is pretty much PG rated (again, the sigh of relief from my mom, Chris’s mom, and Chris) so I can’t figure out how I’m reeling in these creepy spambots. There is no foolproof filter. The best I can do is set my spam-filter as high as possible and go delete the offensive ones that sneak through. Is it as rampant on the entire blogosphere as it is on my little corner of it? Is there some secret way to thwart these spammers, casting my site away from their prying little devices?
But I do have a secret favorite spam comment:
“I have three turtles. Don’t you wish you had three turtles, too?”
No link. No URL. No email address. Just someone telling me, gently, about their love for three turtles.
And I’ll admit, for a moment, I did wish I had three turtles, too.
Comments
I think Askimet is available for Moveable type, too. Why look, it is. It blocks nearly all the spam I get. I go through little spam bursts of getting a few per week to getting several hundred. I've also been using Bad Behavior which I'm not sure is workable on MT. It blocks probably 90% of the spam before it even gets to my inbox by denying access to most spam bots.
I hate spam. It wastes my bandwidth, screws with my statistics and wastes my time. It NEVER actually gets on my blog so I just don't get the point of the constant barrage.
Posted by: Zazzy | September 6, 2006 05:12 PM
I have no clue how to get rid of spammers. I know this is a serious subject but some of those crack me up! The turtle one is cool though.
Too bad you cannot add that "Spell this weird thingy so i know you are not a bot" feature on here.
Posted by: George | September 6, 2006 05:15 PM
I guess there's SOMETHING good about Blogger.
I only got one anonymous comment and it wasn't spam so much as it was just kind of rude.
Posted by: julia | September 6, 2006 06:46 PM
Kerri:
Interestingly enough, every time I go to the comments section of your site I get a warning that says, This may be a phishing website... At the end it asks me to verify whether or not this is actually a phishing site. Of course I tell it no but I thought you might be interested in this. I've not had a chance to investigate, but you might want to when you get a moment. I'm running IE 7 Beta 3, I'm thinking IE 7 it will go live with Vista if not before.
Posted by: Keith | September 6, 2006 07:25 PM
There is a setting on the configuration screen that will let you tell MT to delete any junk comments or trackbacks after x days. I set it to five, so anything that gets tagged spam is automatically deleted every five days. It helps.
Posted by: Andrea | September 6, 2006 07:40 PM
Keith - How do I stop that prompt from coming up in IE7 Beta 3 (which is the first time I have ever thought of, or typed, that combination of letters)? I have no idea how to even attack that issue.
Andrea - I have the comment spam thing set high but not to auto-delete because I have some legit comments that sneak in there sometimes. Besides, I may have otherwise missed the turtle comment, which would have been a loss. :)
Posted by: Kerri. | September 6, 2006 10:06 PM
Take the spam as a compliment. The spammers found your site important enough to attempt to spam it. I know it's not a great thought... but a slight consolation perhaps.
Posted by: ScW | September 6, 2006 11:52 PM
Hi Kerri,
Firstly, hope you are feeling loads better now?
Spam, didn't know it happened in these parts, I don't get any but my blog is not as popular as yours! I just get SPAM in my email ALL the time!!!
:o)
Vic
Posted by: *vicki* | September 7, 2006 07:03 AM
Hey Kerri,
I'm still using blogger, and don't get much spam (yet). I think their word verification system works pretty good.
I know that Kathleen Weaver has mentioned Spam a couple times, along with Zazzy - those would be two good sources to touch base with. Zaz already commented here - but maybe Kathleen has some other ideas too?
Posted by: Scott K. Johnson | September 7, 2006 09:33 AM
The turtles thing made me think of the cool turtle & son from Nemo:
"Gnarley Duuuuuude"
:-)
Posted by: Scott K. Johnson | September 7, 2006 09:34 AM
I know those things are annoying to you, but I did have a good chuckle over them - considering the content of your site (which is PG!). I have no advice for you as I use blogger and haven't had this problem before (not that tons of ppl read my gibberish anyways). I hope you can find some way to resolve it.
BTW, I hope you're feeling better!
Posted by: Jamie | September 7, 2006 10:31 AM
You have more interesting spammers than I do.
I just have weirdo "stuck" people still Googling me.
Posted by: Shannon | September 7, 2006 10:33 AM
Shannon - That "stuck" thing still makes me laugh my unstuck-arse off whenever I think about it. Seriously. Thinking about it now - smirking like a fool. You should post on their message board. Really get that fire blazing. :)
Scott - The turtle definitely looks like the Nemo turtles. Of which I wish I had three.
And to all - Yes, feeling much, much better. Tuesday's plague has since passed. :)
Also, does anyone have any insight as to that IE7 Beta 3 issue? I'm still in the dark...
Posted by: Kerri. | September 7, 2006 10:59 AM
Hell no I won't comment on their forum!! I won't even mention them on my blog. That's just asking for trouble, LOL.
They might start a cult in my honor.
They come from all parts of the world. Who knew people like that were out there.
Posted by: Shannon | September 7, 2006 11:32 AM
i got 147 spams one time in one day on my blog i was about to shoot someone
Posted by: Gina | September 11, 2006 09:42 PM