A Mother's Perspective: Cameo #2
Note from Kerri: Here's my mom with another cameo post, writing from the wilds of RI (where I used to live).
"Hello again!Kerri has asked me to write another cameo for her blog.I must admit that I am one of the “lurkers” as some people identify themselves. I often come to Kerri’s blog and after reading her enlightening entries, I surf on down the list. My attention is always captured by the great posts that I read. I often wonder if I would have handled her diabetes care differently if there was a support system such as the “OC” when she was growing up. To have this group of people to bounce ideas off of is wonderful. But since I didn’t have such a support group, it was up to the medical team and her family. I think we did really well but still I wonder if maybe I wouldn’t have been so paranoid and rigid at times.
I feel like an absolute “nut” when I think of some of the things I did in the name of making sure she stayed healthy. I could be down right devious. With two other children in the house who could and did want to eat sugary foods, I had to devise ways of disguising these treats from Kerri. Yes, I actually took to emptying frozen green bean boxes and stuffing ice cream and candy in them. It was a brilliant idea, or so I thought. Kids have noses that sniff out such stuff. It didn’t take her long to figure out the “green bean box deception”. I would even submit this poor child to random breath smelling. If I smelled chocolate...the way I carried on, you would think the world was ending. My point is that I sure could have used a support group to reach out to and put things into perspective. Of course I learned to lighten up as we traveled down this road of diabetes care, but it was bumpy at times. I was so afraid of something happening to her that I sometimes over-reacted.
Many of the anxious moments she never knew about then. When she got her driver’s license I learned to sleep with “one ear open”. I could never be totally asleep until I knew she was safe and sound in bed. All the times she wanted to sleep late on weekends…I would go to her room and just by touching her hand she would automatically stick her finger out for the fingerprick, never really waking up.
I think one of the things I despised most was being a “nag”. I couldn’t leave anything to chance. Always asking “Did you test?” “Did you eat?” “Did you shoot?” “Are you low?” Couldn’t help it. Well, I probably am still a tad bit of a “nag” as old habits die hard. I still can’t resist asking the questions even now if she is visiting.
After all the doubts, nagging, watching and yes, sometimes Green Bean Trickery, I am assured that all did turn out well after all. When I look at her I see a pretty, witty, compassionate, confident, funny, strong young woman. (sidenote from Kerri: Ma, you forgot “neurotic.” That one is key.) The journey wasn’t always easy but she has all the tools to deal with this disease and she also has the gift of knowing all of you."